Expect nothing, be amazed by everything….

When I began here in March I had no particular “mission”. No actual plan which governed my day to day activities; however, I trusted in myself and God more than I ever have…and let me tell you he NEVER lets you down.  Nope, God never forgets, he never falters, and he always delivers.  I began my journey by meeting this group of what I shortly learned are amazing men, who like we all have sometime in our life, got lost somewhere on their journey.  When I came into the picture, they were already well on their way to spiritual recovery.  But, soon what I discovered are compliments to spiritual recovery and what actually can enhance it, like what eyeliner does for women…..it brings out your eyes, and we all know your eyes are the window to your soul.  Well, to put it in make-up terms, I became their eyeliner.

It started with the English classes, and eventually perpetuated into their photography projects and cooking class.  The whole concept behind these vocational studies has a couple of purposes, one: it allows the men the challenge of learning new, useful skills in order to be more marketable once their time in the shelter is over. And two: it allows me to pinpoint their niches and interests in order to better facilitate a means of enhancing their spiritual and mental recovery.  One particular project, the cooking class, allowed me to see another side of one man, Uri. Uri came to the shelter in mid April, which was a bit challenging for me because I wasn’t anticipating people coming in after I had started my class (teacher challenge number one).  But, in no time Uri proved that not only was he up for the challenge of playing catch up to the rest of the students, but he was more than willing to participate at board activities and thoroughly enjoyed the photography project.  However, where Uri really shined was in the cooking department.

For their cooking project, they had a practice day, where they all prepared a dish of my choosing, Eggplant Parmesan Баклажаны Пармезан (cause let’s face it, I’m Italian and I need some remembrance of home).  However the exacting dish lens itself to allowing the men to practice a few different types of techniques: broiling (yes we broiled instead of deep fried the eggplant….Russian food is riddled with everything drenched or submerged in oil…I’m not about to enable the habit….call me Cruella) also different types of knife work as well as creating a filling.  The men had a variety of special cheeses, because it was a special day!  As a side note, I thought Igor was going to keel over and die of sheer bliss when he tasted the mascarpone, naturally he had never tasted it before and it was as if he had rekindled a long lost friendship he never knew he had to begin with.

Through the process of introducing cheeses like parmesan, ricotta, and mascarpone to this inquisitive group of gentlemen, I would occasionally glance over to see Uri vicariously chopping onions will all he ease of a decorated chef working in a four-star Michelin restaurant. It was an awe inspiring moment, there it was, his niche!  Gathering myself from awe-shock, I immediately had the men gather around Uri to observe his knife technique, precise but not frantic, efficient but not careless. As the day progressed and I took them through blanching the spinach and layering the eggplant, cheese, and homemade tomato sauce while chanting in Russian bachlasion, sir, pomidor, bachlasion, sir, pomidor (our mantra for that day) I could see their enjoyment and enthusiasm.  I don’t have children of my own, but I did feel like a proud mama in the kitchen with all my little helpers fighting to be the one to spread the cheese on the eggplant.

 

As the food came together on the table, and I watched as my gentlemen allowed the women at the dinner to sit first, then themselves….I stepped back to realize how much these men have to offer the world.  At that table there was no such thing as addiction to be heard of or seen, there was only love, smiles, and food!

At this time it is important to point out that I am not a person who enjoys the feeling of spontaneity, although the romantic side of me wished I did.  I am the planner, the quintessential type-A personality.  Everything must be planned to a T, with proper room to spare for mishaps, because a true planner always carries at least two or three back up plans in her pocket.  So needless to say, with all this planning I do, I expect to know what to expect once my plan has been successfully executed. Although, what I learned during this class was to take joy and satisfaction in knowing that I am not in control and when I relinquish what control I think I have to someone who is far more omniscient and powerful than I am, I become merely the recipient of amazing results.  I like this side of the field now, my grass is the greenest it has ever been.  In 1 Corinthians Paul talks about the importance of just doing God’s work to the best of your abilities and to not become discouraged or apathetic if you don’t immediately see results:

            “So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and steady, always enthusiastic about the Lord’s work, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless,” (1 Corinthians 15:58).

I expected to come to Israel and see these men work, learn English, and change their lives, I never expected myself to change with them; but, I am amazed at the results.  For me, change isn’t the result of a spontaneous interaction that occurs at a time purely based in self reflection, it is the consequence of touching and being touched by others who are living a vertical life.

 My guys :-)

“I never expected them to actually learn English”

It’s only fair to note that although we expect certain results from an action, it doesn’t necessarily mean our actual results will be validated by any means of concrete evidence.  However, this is one of those rare cases where the amount of work equals the amount of sound results.

Please allow me to explain something to you…  The world I spent my last four and half years coexisting in was a world which can only be described as a parasitic relationship between me and biology.  Don’t get me wrong I love academic biology the same way I love concepts like communism and socialized medicine; they all sound truthful and genuine in theory, but left in the hands of men and bitter professors, they only amount in unjust actions and indifferent students.  The efforts put forth rarely seem to be shown in the results; why is that?  Could it be that the land I once hailed from was also ridden by people like me who, to a certain extent, need that immediate gratification?….(guilty).  But, could it also be that for there to be true success, both hearts have to be present?

When I started teaching English at the men’s shelter, although I was hopeful and maybe a bit ambitious, the men on the other hand seemed at the very least, skeptical.  You could tell by their glances things have been tried in the past, failed, or were unsatisfying, and let go.  I’m not saying their attitude toward English classes, or me for that matter, were blasé, they merely acted as if I was apart of their “revolving door” lifestyle.  I would constantly here Igor say “you know, people come and go, we’re used to it”.  As weeks passed, and I started to learn more about them, and they realized I wasn’t just some hit and run English teacher, you could see their minds and hearts open up.  Once they started to feel safe and cared for, it was only a matter of time before I begun to see every hand in the air, people discussing verb conjugations, and their constant pleading for me to teach them “English slang”.  It is an amazing experience to witness the hand of God playing and interacting in the daily lives of these men.

Each day I have the privilege of working with these men; I have the opportunity to witness their beginning.  A beginning to a new life, one in which is centered around God and one in which their hearts become present.  This newfound desire to try and place oneself out there has snowballed into a movement for these men.  Currently, in addition to the English classes, they are going to be taking a cooking class next Sunday in hopes of preparing to run one of the feedings we do in the park for the drug addicts and prostitutes.  Also, photography has become an interesting discussion topic, due to their photo project most of them have concluded last week.  I am hoping to display their photos back in the states as part of a fundraising event for them.  More on that later….

My point is, what started out as a mere attempt to get them to learn English in order to provide them with more job opportunities once they finish the program, has become a catalyst to reshaping their confidence and entire outlook on life.  I realize it is not me doing this, but I am beyond grateful to be a single thread in this elaborate tapestry.

However, it is nice to hear Gene say (the director of the operation in Israel), how happy he is with the progress of the men, and to admit, “I never expected them to actually learn English”.  It turns out nothing is out of reach for those who believe and open their hearts to the endless possibilities God reveals.

Igor, Alexander and Sasha playing chess